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[reargunner]

ᴛᴇxᴛ | ᴀᴜᴅɪᴏ | ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ | ᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ



Leave a message if you want. I'll get back to you when I pick my comm up.

Or I won't.

Comments

[greatoldjohn]

It can be. Or it can not be. I don't really... abide by 'physics'. It will respond how you expect it to.

None of it will hurt you, though.

Meaning, if you think it's smoke, it is. If you think it's solid, it is.

[reargunner]

"Uh..."

Okay, so... if he thinks it's going to be solid, then it will? But honestly he's not sure what it's supposed to feel like, so how can he be sure? He's not sure if he's going to be able to handle it if he puts his hand out and it suddenly vanishes into nothingness.

"I don't know what it is. Is that gonna fuck things up?"

[greatoldjohn]

No. It's not where you believe it in the conscious part. It's where you believe it in the unconscious part. You don't think about the floor being solid when you walk, you just know it is in the back of your mind. You don't think about it every step.

It's like that.

[reargunner]

"I..."

Okay, great.

"So I gotta trust the opinion of the part of my brain I'm not consciously aware of. That asshole gets me into all kinds of shit on a good day."

He pulls a face but decides all at once that he's going to go for it. Alexei puts his hand out like he's expecting it to disappear but instead it hits—... something.

Something that is warm and solid, mostly, but definitely enough that he's not going to lose his arm in it. He opens one eye, having hardly realised he closed them, and lifts his head up to look at where is fingers are splayed out against the dark... whatever John is.

Pat... pat.

"... Okay. Yeah. This isn't fucking weird at all."

[greatoldjohn]

I'm sensing some sarcasm here.

But the tone is fond and he chuckles just a little.

Looks like you got it, though.

[reargunner]

"Oh, you sensed the fucking blatant sarcasm, huh."

He smirks a tiny bit as he says that. Come on now, John.

Actually putting his hand against the void and finding it is a mostly solid thing that isn't going to take his hand off is bolstering, and he lightly pokes at one of the tentacles curling up next to him before timidly allowing it to curl around his wrist.

"Hah..."

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath...

Then he half turns and leans his weight into the warm, sort of mostly solid blackness. He's probably going to have nightmares about this, but it might just be worth it.

"... Still a person. If you were worrying or something."

[greatoldjohn]

A couple of them coil out to... the only word is cuddle him, hug him maybe, that same warmth and fondness and affection that'd come in the hug earlier present here.

I wasn't, actually. I never worry about that with you.

[reargunner]

He leans his head in against... what he supposes is about the level of just under John's rib cage, and though he is still very much fighting the urge to crawl out of his own skin there is also something undeniably thrilling about this.

This isn't an alien. This is a whole-ass fantasy creature with incredible power the likes of which he'd never see back in his own universe. And, under it all... it's John.

It's still just John.

"You never do?"

[greatoldjohn]

No. I know that I'm safe with you.

It doesn't mean that they'll never disagree, never argue, never snap or snarl. Friendships have conflicts. John knows that very well. But it does mean that he never worries about being called a parasite or a demon or a thing from Alexei. An asshole, certainly. A dickhead, maybe. But nothing like that.

[reargunner]

Blink.

He shifts so he can look up (way up) at John's face and into those still-familiar eyes.

"... You do?"

Considering what he's currently got in front of him the idea is... hard to swallow. Comical almost.

"I wouldn't have thought you'd... need that." Then he exhales softly through his nose and shakes his head as he mutters softly. "... Why wouldn't you."

[greatoldjohn]

Everyone needs safe people.

A tentacle reaches up and loops lightly around one of Alexei's fingers like a pinky promise.

If power is all that matters in how you deal with people, you don't have friends. You have people who fear you too much to leave. And I don't want that.

Once you remove that, I'm like anyone else.

[reargunner]

Again, he finds himself leaning in against that warm, mostly solid mass, and he looks at the inky tentacle looped around his finger in silence for a few long moments.

"... You're not like anyone else, John," he says eventually, quietly, a small frown pinching a line between his eyebrows.

"In every fucking way that matters, in the best kinds of ways, you're not like anyone else. You're... you."

[greatoldjohn]

This.

When people ask him why he would give up unfathomable power, a kingdom of his own, all of the Dreamlands and the untouchable distance that comes with being the King in Yellow, this is the thing he can't describe and can't adequately explain that makes it all worth it. This is what he craves more than else: the simple joy of connection and togetherness and the knowledge that being who he is, and choosing as he's chosen, has made someone feel safe and good and made him be someone they want to be near. It's priceless. Every single time, it's a priceless miracle of a thing and he'll pay the wages of fear and pain and sadness and loneliness and all the other emotions for it, every time.

Thank you, Alexei.

[reargunner]

He lets that sit for a minute or so more before he straightens himself up.

"You... uhm, can turn back now."

It is getting to be a lot, even if he isn't strictly claustrophobic.

[greatoldjohn]

Yeah, I figured.

And it only takes a couple of seconds for John to be back to how he usually is, still giving him a little hug, no tentacles in sight. He'll gently step back to give him some room.

[reargunner]

And, perhaps unexpectedly, the space is very abruptly not allowed.

He follows the way John steps back and quickly throws both arms up around his shoulders, pulling him down and squeezing him into a hug.

[greatoldjohn]

Oh.

John will hug him back, immediately, just as fiercely. He worries sometimes, for what he feels is very good reason, that he's too much, too different. He tries to be kind. It feels good to have that fear thoroughly squeezed to death by Alexei's arms.

[reargunner]

It's a kind of reset to normalcy. The almost impossible being he was just leaning into was John. This is also still John - familiar, kind, entirely solid instead of just 'mostly'. The way he's hugged so fiercely back tells him enough.

"You okay?"

[greatoldjohn]

He nods immediately.

"Oh yeah, I'm good." He actually gives Alexei a beaming smile. "What about you?"

[reargunner]

Without thinking about it, he reaches one hand up and ruffles John's hair with a crooked little smile.

"Bit better."

John's just like that.

"That was kind of intense."

[greatoldjohn]

John grins at the ruffle; he's certainly not the prim and proper between him and Arthur and their usual looks make that pretty clear but he can't help but nod at Alexei's comment.

"Yeah. A few people have said it doesn't bother them but no one can say it isn't a lot."

[reargunner]

"Well, uh... I won't lie and say it doesn't bother me." He shakes his head, letting his hand drop down to his side.

"But I'm not afraid of you." His lips pull into a wry half-smile again. "Kinda hard to be when you still sound like a fuckin' dork either way."

(#affectionate)

[greatoldjohn]

That's a little huff.

"If I change my voice, I sound like Arthur and it's weird."

[reargunner]

A soft laugh.

"So you have what you've got, or Arthur? All that power and you can only sound like two people. That's a bit of a let down, you know."

He nudges against John, though he doesn't think he needs to make it clear that he's joking.

[greatoldjohn]

He gives a bit of a pouty look but it's clear he's also joking.

"I mean, I sound different when I look more like a woman, but that's about it. I could try to make it sound different, but I'd worry about sounding like other people. I don't want to steal someone's voice."