reargunner | [TLV][IC Inbox]

reargunner

ᴛᴇxᴛ | ᴀᴜᴅɪᴏ | ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ | ᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

Leave a message if you want. I'll get back to you when I pick my comm up.

Or I won't.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

From:

reargunner

[He just laughs, squeezes his arms briefly around the other man, then sits back a little and looks unflinchingly into his eyes.]

That was just—

[Phew. It's still a bit... He tries again.]

You're amazing. That was... amazing.

From:

greatoldjohn

[ That earns him a genuine chuckle, which always sounds a little evil, but this one is too warm to be anything but fond. ]

I'm glad it didn't fuck you up. Too much.

From:

reargunner

[A little evil, as a treat. It doesn't even occur to Alexei to think of it that way anymore.]

Not too much, fucking hell, I nearly forgot how to exist for a second.

From:

greatoldjohn

...yeah, I can't blame you there.

[ He winces. ]

People ask me why I don't like breaches. That's why I don't like breaches. Going between that and being a normal human. It's a lot for me.

From:

reargunner

[Alexei nods. He's... incredibly aware of himself now in a way he isn't usually.]

Yeah. I... I get it.

[He gets it enough.]

John, I... [Huff.] I think you already know this, but... I— I always want you to be yourself with me. As much or as little as that means at the time. I...

[A frown. His gaze wanders a little bit.]

I accept you.

From:

greatoldjohn

[ Now it's his turn to nudge Alexei. ]

I do know that. It's why I wasn't afraid to show you.

From:

reargunner

[A smile, softer than before, then a little nudge back.]

Doesn't hurt to say it, huh.

[Then he shakes his head.]

It's hard to imagine you could really be afraid of anything.

From:

greatoldjohn

[ His eyes go a little distant at that. ]

I'm afraid of a lot of things, truthfully. There's always a bigger fish.

[ And there's always a darker hole. ]

From:

reargunner

[A soft hum.]

You don't have to tell me about it.

[And then he leans against John's arm, just a bit, remembering the time he said he found contact grounding.]

You can. But you don't have to.

From:

greatoldjohn

[ He breathes out slowly and closes his eyes and lets himself lean against Alexei a little.]

You felt the scars. The urges.

Those come from what is known as the Dark World. It's the world into which the dead things from all worlds are dumped. It thrives on fear, the land itself seeming to exist to only cause pain, and it feeds those with a vicious mind. [ And his tone makes it clear that he was one such. Without question. ] It destroys the memories and the soul of anything put there and leaves only the basest urges, the darkest parts. It is where hope turns to despair and nothing survives it.

[ He swallows. ]

When Arthur and I fell off the Barge, I knew I would have to go back there. I remembered being on the Barge, and that meant I remembered the flood where I got to be a version of myself from farther along our timeline. So all through the Dreamlands, right up until we faced the King... I knew if I didn't go, Arthur would die.

And I couldn't trust the Admiral to save him. So I went. And I was there for...

[ It pains him to try and quantify it. ]

A very long time.

Until that 'bigger fish' decided to come by and make me a deal to get out.

From:

reargunner

... Not gonna lie, I understood about half of that.

[Maybe the rest will sink in later but his brain is still spinning a little. He presses the heel of his hand briefly into his temple and grunts softly in thought.]

Then what?

From:

greatoldjohn

So... he used me. Made me do anything that he could think of, anything that amused him. I had to beg him.

He enjoyed that.

And then he made me a deal: I had to get Arthur to New York, to seek out something called the Gray Stone.

And I had to do it without telling Arthur about any of this.

From:

reargunner

[He doesn't like that. He doesn't say it, but it's clear enough in the way his expression pinches.

Alexei doesn't really think much before what he does next. He shifts off to the side and then pats his lap gently with one hand, putting his other on John's shoulder.

Presumably, he does not need to express what he intends verbally.]

From:

greatoldjohn

[ John considers turning into a cat. But he decides, after a moment, that he'd rather just stay as he is, and he'll lean over and let his head rest on Alexei's thigh as his eyes close. ]

From:

reargunner

[Hm, that's nice. He keeps one hand on John's arm and works the other lightly into his hair, rubbing blunt fingernails slowly against his scalp.

Mm. Good Eldritch god. Absolutely nothing to be concerned about here.]

Did you do it?

From:

greatoldjohn

I would have, yes.

[ No hesitation. ]

But we came here instead. And that gave me more options.

Edited Date: 2025-04-29 03:02 pm (UTC)

From:

reargunner

[It doesn't seem to bother Alexei much in any case. He'd be a hypocrite to be disgusted by someone keeping something from someone else like that. Hadn't he done much the same kind of thing?]

Did you ever tell him?

From:

greatoldjohn

No. Because I'm not sure what the asshole will or would do. If he'd somehow know. I didn't want to chance it.

[ A wry smile as he looks up. ]

I told someone else I trust to tell him. So yes, he knows.

From:

reargunner

[A nod.]

Good.

[Because he does like Arthur. More than he'd expected to given their first slightly fraught meeting. Like knows like, and the guy is a bit of a bastard just like he is.]

Keeping secrets like that, it... it never ends well.

From:

greatoldjohn

Believe me. I know. Unfortunately, the consequences are...

Suffice to say that I'm glad I found a workaround.

From:

reargunner

Smart.

[He settles comfortably, still idly running his fingers through John's hair.]

But we can talk about something else, you know. If this is--... if it's hard.