Some are just built like that. Helpful as fuck, and when you don't give them shit back, they feel useless. They have to have something to do, something to work on, or they have to sit and reexamine why they're even here.
[He refills his glass and picks it up in a mock toast.]
That's bullshit. I don't fucking care what we get told. I'm not-- [Scowling, he pours another measure out. More, this time.] Abel wouldn't let it happen.
[He doesn't argue that. He just nods, because Joseph would say the same thing. John should have been able to say the same thing. He takes a long drink instead.]
Then you're just waiting out your sentence. I'm definitely dead.
[He's about to clear the glass again, with the first two mouthfuls already burning the back of his throat to numbness, but then he lowers his glass a bit and frowns.]
[He doesn't take the drink. Cain lowers his glass down and looks at the bar top, a small frown pinching between his eyebrows.
His own sister is still alive. He doesn't need to think about it to know if he'd give up everything he had to keep her safe. She's his sister. And yet... the fact is, he's never been asked to do that.
He taps a fingertip against the glass.]
... Why are you telling me all this? Everything. You don't know me.
Because it's not a fucking secret to me. There's a whole goddamn book about my life in my world and here, my fucking warden has my whole goddamn file.
Didn't tell him he could have it. He can tell anyone anything he fucking wants.
[He taps the table.]
So you know what? Fuck it. I don't care about my own secrets, so the floods and the breaches have no ammunition against me. They like to use secrets and skeletons in your closet to tear you apart, one at a time. Little by little.
I'm not trying to force a bond here, Cain. I'm not trying to get you to spill your shit. But I'm not letting this place break me so easily.
[Jacob slams back the shot.]
And honestly, small talk is for bitches. What else do you want to talk about? The weather? Where you grew up? Jail?
[It's... strange. He can feel his pulse speeding up, a rhythmic thudding in his ears, and he's not sure if one part of what Jacob said caused the shift or just... all of it.
He'd been lucky enough to avoid the worst of the Flood. To keep people from seeing anything they shouldn't. But it wouldn't last, would it. Eventually, something was going to trip him up, and he's probably not going to be ready when it does.
Cain doesn't realise he's gone slightly pale under his olive complexion. He rubs one hand briefly against his face then props his chin up on his palm.]
Fuck, last thing I wanna talk about is prison. [... sigh.] That's what it's all gonna come for, though, isn't it. Like you said. Putting it all out so everyone can fucking see it.
[He hates it. The lack of control. It makes him want to crawl out of his skin.]
Kept hearing it during the Flood. The riot siren. All the cell doors sliding shut for a lockdown. Happened all the time.
[Then he quiets, fiddling with his glass. His eyes shift, as if he's following the track of his thoughts in the marks and stains on the top of the bar, then he shuts his eyes and lets out a quiet, slow breath through his nose.]
no subject
Date: 2024-08-27 11:37 pm (UTC)[He shakes his head.]
Some people don't go for subtlety, do they? At least when my parents named me and my brothers, they stuck to normal names.
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Date: 2024-08-27 11:43 pm (UTC)[He snorts softly, pouring another generous shot into the glass.]
Don't want anything to do with him, and no one's gonna throw me in solitary for ignoring him in here.
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Date: 2024-08-27 11:54 pm (UTC)[He sniffs in annoyance.]
I got lucky.
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Date: 2024-08-28 12:00 am (UTC)Not interested in makin' nice with any of them. A permanent one even less. Got done being used with the Alliance, I'm not gonna do it again.
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Date: 2024-08-28 12:11 am (UTC)Some wardens give their inmates their deals.
[Which Jacob trusts even less than that.]
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Date: 2024-08-28 12:13 am (UTC)And the temps? That's not for anything, right? So why won't mine get off my ass.
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Date: 2024-08-28 12:15 am (UTC)[He refills his glass and picks it up in a mock toast.]
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Date: 2024-08-28 12:21 am (UTC)[He answers that toast with a tilt of his own glass before he swallows the contents down.]
If that's what it is, then he's gonna have to get used to feeling real fucking useless the next few weeks.
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Date: 2024-08-28 12:23 am (UTC)[He brings his other hand, bandaged tightly against his palm, onto the table and scrubs at his face.]
Have you gotten the 'would you rather just be dead' question? They love that one.
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Date: 2024-08-28 12:25 am (UTC)[He puts the glass down a little too hard.]
That's bullshit. I don't fucking care what we get told. I'm not-- [Scowling, he pours another measure out. More, this time.] Abel wouldn't let it happen.
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Date: 2024-08-28 12:26 am (UTC)Then you're just waiting out your sentence. I'm definitely dead.
Rather they just let me die, though.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-28 12:34 am (UTC)Why?
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Date: 2024-08-28 12:52 am (UTC)I was my brother's sacrifice. Keep him alive. That's the only fucking job I wanted, especially after John fucking died.
I don't have anything else to give.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-28 12:58 am (UTC)His own sister is still alive. He doesn't need to think about it to know if he'd give up everything he had to keep her safe. She's his sister. And yet... the fact is, he's never been asked to do that.
He taps a fingertip against the glass.]
... Why are you telling me all this? Everything. You don't know me.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-28 01:02 am (UTC)Didn't tell him he could have it. He can tell anyone anything he fucking wants.
[He taps the table.]
So you know what? Fuck it. I don't care about my own secrets, so the floods and the breaches have no ammunition against me. They like to use secrets and skeletons in your closet to tear you apart, one at a time. Little by little.
I'm not trying to force a bond here, Cain. I'm not trying to get you to spill your shit. But I'm not letting this place break me so easily.
[Jacob slams back the shot.]
And honestly, small talk is for bitches. What else do you want to talk about? The weather? Where you grew up? Jail?
no subject
Date: 2024-08-28 01:12 am (UTC)He'd been lucky enough to avoid the worst of the Flood. To keep people from seeing anything they shouldn't. But it wouldn't last, would it. Eventually, something was going to trip him up, and he's probably not going to be ready when it does.
Cain doesn't realise he's gone slightly pale under his olive complexion. He rubs one hand briefly against his face then props his chin up on his palm.]
Fuck, last thing I wanna talk about is prison. [... sigh.] That's what it's all gonna come for, though, isn't it. Like you said. Putting it all out so everyone can fucking see it.
[He hates it. The lack of control. It makes him want to crawl out of his skin.]
Kept hearing it during the Flood. The riot siren. All the cell doors sliding shut for a lockdown. Happened all the time.
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Date: 2024-08-28 01:15 am (UTC)Yeah? You manage to ignore it?
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Date: 2024-08-28 01:17 am (UTC)[He empties the glass finally and sets it down again almost silently.]
Got used to the noise. Doesn't mean I like hearing it.
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Date: 2024-08-28 01:19 am (UTC)No, you don't.
I got sand in my fucking teeth. In my hair. That's what got me.
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Date: 2024-08-28 01:23 am (UTC)Where the hell did you get sand from?
[Jeez, just how fucked up was everything that just happened?]
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Date: 2024-08-28 01:24 am (UTC)Good.
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Date: 2024-08-28 01:27 am (UTC)No, not the whole time. Had a couple of people I wanted to check in on. [Seems like he managed to avoid the sand, though.]
Just got lucky I guess.
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Date: 2024-08-28 01:39 am (UTC)That was a fucking nightmare.
[He picks up his glass but doesn't drink, watching him instead.]
Picked out the shit that it knew would fuck with each person individually.
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Date: 2024-08-28 01:45 am (UTC)Yeah. I know.
[Then he quiets, fiddling with his glass. His eyes shift, as if he's following the track of his thoughts in the marks and stains on the top of the bar, then he shuts his eyes and lets out a quiet, slow breath through his nose.]
... Alexei.
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Date: 2024-08-28 01:51 am (UTC)Good to meet you.
[And then he takes a drink, desperate to feel the oblivion of alcohol.]
You never answered if you were armed or not.
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